Managing and reducing stress through emotional self-awareness
November 20th, 2008 by Dr Jeff Bailey
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One of the consistent findings in organizational research is good leaders need to be self-aware. Getting to understand yourself can be a stressful experience. Many people think that psychologists constantly psychoanalyse those around them. This can be painful at parties when people become suspicious of you.
In therapeutic setting, helping patients become self-aware can create stress for them. How many of us really understand our own values, motivations, and drives? When I coach chief executive officers, one of the first things I do to increase their effectiveness in the organization is to help them become self-aware. I work on the assumption that self-awareness increases the capacity to confront, manage and relieve stress. This is particularly important in relationships where one or both parties have limited self-awareness and are unable to negotiate a meaningful communication space.
Daniel Goleman has been credited with developing extensive interest in the concept of emotional intelligence. I believe that if you have a high level of emotional intelligence you will manage your personal and work life much more effectively. There is plenty of research which suggests that leaders who have high emotional intelligence are more successful in the workplace. They earn more money and their teams are more highly productive. This is not the case with leaders with low emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is intelligence which relates to one’s emotions, one’s ability to understand one’s self and other people and an overall ability to be able to adapt to and cope with the emotional and interpersonal demands of everyday life.
Oddly enough, the feelings of the people around you affect your own emotional state. The brain’s limbic system is the area where we can examine moods and emotions. People react to each other’s emotions and in meetings, for example, it takes two hours for everyone to share the common mood of the meeting. There is constant interchange of emotionality in the workplace.
A fascinating piece of research suggests the following. Put two people together in a room and monitor their heart rate and blood pressure and you will find within 5 to 10 minutes they are almost identical. And they don’t even need to talk to each other. Just sitting together creates a shared physiological reaction.
If we do share common emotionality, it is obvious that we are constantly affecting the ones around us. If we are stressed, our partners at work colleagues are stressed as well. You need to know how you are feeling and how this impacts others. How others feel, especially if they are angry or discontented, affects us too. None of these bad feelings are healthy or productive. They add to the tension and stress we feel in the workplace.
What is the alternative? If you are happy, self-aware, stress free, and have a positive self-esteem you are likely to be happy in your relationships and happy in the workplace. You will probably be very effective in developing and enjoying healthy relationships. You’ll know how to manage and relieve stress and your life will be blessed.
Obviously, I’ve only given a small introduction to emotional intelligence but I think you can see how important it is. When we measure emotional intelligence we look at how we think about ourselves, how we deal with other people, what our general mood is, how adaptable we are, and how well we manage stress. People’s profiles vary dramatically across these five factors. Some people understand themselves well but are not good at understanding others. What I’ve tried to cover in this article is the importance of self-awareness as it relates to stress and tension. There is a clear relationship and an obvious implication to learn how to manage stress and relieve stress.
